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  • Writer's pictureMichael Tamzil

Never Settle

I reject comfort. I believe in motion. I believe in moving because whatever is next is greater than where I’ve been. Therefore, I can never settle.

My dad got into an accident when I was five years old that left him in a coma for 20+ years. My family moved around a lot after this and by high school, I was in and out of school. Something in my spirit wouldn’t let me commit, I craved something beyond the four walls of the classroom. I eventually graduated by making a deal with my principal. If he let me pass state testing, I’d split my gift money with him. Deal. As soon as I graduated, I told my mom I was leaving Indonesia. I knew if I stayed in my country, I’d end up in jail. Something inside told me I needed to leave, so I did. I left for America when I was 17 with two suitcases and a blanket.

I needed money while getting my art degree and my mom suggested I get a job at Burger King. I rejected that. I knew the minute I diverted out of my lane I’d be fucked. I make decisions that appear crazy to the world, but everything is done with intention. Done out of obedience to my inner voice. I ended up graduating and getting a great job at an architecture firm. I went into it knowing it’d be an exchange: 7.5 years of my labor for a green card. As soon as it came in the mail, I went to HR and quit. They tried to convince me not to go. I had a steady paycheck and lived comfortably. But I needed to jump into the water or else I’d regret not doing so for the rest of my life. I’d either drown or learn to swim, but I’d have no regrets.

During this time, I got a call that my dad had died. I went home to bury him and two weeks later, my wife died. Her breast cancer had traveled to the brain. There I was, a father to a one year old daughter. I had no clue what I was doing. I was drinking everyday and feeding my baby doritos. One night I broke down and prayed to God to bring a mother for my baby girl. Three months later, she asked for Burger King and the stranger she kept waving to became my answered prayer. We’ve been married for 15 years and have two more children. Turns out I didn’t need Burger King for a job, but for a miracle. Death really fucks you up. But life multiplies itself. Unless you’re able to let pain go, you won’t know what God has for you next. Until you completely surrender, you won’t get to the next level.

By: Monique Mitchell for

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